this situation is starting to freak me out--right now i'm so tempted to express what i felt but of course it takes a lot of risks and i don't think i can handle the consequences of my would be actions.
i am utterly confused and i don't know what to think anymore--i need to talk to someone sensible, someone who would view this whole situation without biases and without any preconceived ideas, but somehow that is dim. Coz i don't think anybody would understand my situation oh well maybe. I shouldn't even be thinking about but i can't help it. If i can only knock some senses in my head then i would be fine. Sometimes i feel like screaming and sometimes i feel like crying--not that i am starting to lose my grip but this situation is starting to affect me-emotionally that is. Before i can easily scratch out any ideas because then i understand but right now i don't think i comprehend anything. Have you ever felt the feeling wherein you are weak and totally powerless? that's exactly what i am feeling right now, i hate to admit it but it's more like i am not in control of this situation. damn! why does life had to be this complicated? i am never good at complications and i'm not sure how to best handle it. anyone reading this blog by chance would think i am not making any sense... but of course i am not, coz you don't know what i'm talking about...

there are stuffs that are better left unshared... and even if i do share it with anyone, the probability of understanding me is dim... was thinking that i'd probably go nuts if i keep it to myself but heck i hate complications so whether i am heading for destruction or not does not scare me